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My kids are 9 and 6. My son came first. I have heard that having a boy and a girl is the Million Dollar Combination. What I dont quite understand at this point is what Million Dollar refers to. Perhaps this is the amount of money I will pay in therapy handling the anxiety I have as a parent of two kids who constantly compete. They constantly compete for mom and dad’s attention. What belongs to whom in the house, who gets kissed and hugged at night first, who gets the largest serving of ice cream for dessert.
This post is not actually about sibling rivalries and relationships but rather the phenomena that has come to my attention of how BEHAVIOR OF SIBLINGS differ between Home School kids and Public School kids. Add in the Church/Temple that the families attend as well as time with grandparents and friends.
Combination 1 (My Kids)
Public School + Sunday School + Scouting + Grandparent Visits + Friends House Visits
Combination 2 (Home Schoolers)* I dont know about these elements for Home Schoolers (YET)
Home School + Sunday School + Scouting* + Grandparent Visits* + Friends House Visits*
Case Study – I have watched my Million Dollar twosome for 6 years together. I have also participated in youth activities at the Church we attend where I have the golden opportunity to watch and observe (and occassionally police) other kids, mostly home schoolers. I am tempted to segue to talk about homeschoolers but since I have met some very smart ones who get full scholarships to Universities, I have to be careful not to generalize about them, so let’s NOT go there, for now.
My kids are, as described in my opening comment, driving their poor dad to blog about them. Ask their teachers at Church, their scouting masters, their grandparents, their friends and parents of their friends and they are PERFECT! (“You must be speaking about someone else!”) But no, I watch and observe them too, and they are well behaved. I guess I should be happy that they dont embarrass their parents and make us look like the perfect parents.
Just today I had the opportunity to speak about the Phenomena with a Youth Programming leader where my kids just finished Day Camp. He told me that he thinks Home School kids are the wild ones in the Youth programs he runs or helps run at the Church. He thinks that Home School kids are well behaved at home because they are being raised by religious Christian families who are very strict with their kids. I guess you would have to be if they are going to complete all of their work in a home setting. Every time I speak with home school parents they always tell me the kids are well behaved at home.
These same parents of home schoolers apparently drop their kids at the Church for every available program, 4 hours each Sunday morning, Wednesday nights and Sunday nights, and more if available. They are clueless what their kids are doing at Church. According to what I have experienced personally and was conveyed by this Youth leader (father of two teens himself), the home school parents typically dont know how much energy their kids are taking out at Church and ON EACHOTHER at Church.
So, what I know so far is that kids who are educated in Public or Home Schooling, behave where they GO TO SCHOOL. In the case of our kids its only at home they misbehave and abuse eachother. The Home School kids may very well behave at the Grandparents house or friends house but apparently they misbehave at Church activities when their parents are not around.
Truly a phenomenon to discuss.
Biblical note: I spoke with the lead children’s pastor at our Church and suggested that he create a special weekend camp just for siblings to learn how they can better treat one another. That respecting their parents is just the beginning and that part of fulfilling the Mosaic Law includes respecting your brothers and sisters. Problem is this is pure conjecture and that the only stories of siblings in the Bible are about brothers and these stories are very disturbing in nature. i.e. they dont teach very “calming” lessons.
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